when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
