HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i think my cat just said my name.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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