We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize