he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
