well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Randomize
