We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You took a bar mat shot.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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