You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
