She went from zero to smokin in five shots
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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