so that wasnt chicken after all
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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