I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
