make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize