you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
