Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
