Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
