24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
