I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
