do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
