Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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