can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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