Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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