marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
