I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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