Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
