It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
