Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
