can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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