Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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