i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
