Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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