i think i have two assholes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
