nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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