So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
