Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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