White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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