Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize