Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We need to rekindle our bromance
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Randomize
