I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
