In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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