i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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