when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
