suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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