NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
