I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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