guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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