We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
