Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Holy sore nipples Batman
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
