do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
