speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
