Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
