Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
