She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
