Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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