u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
