Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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