My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
