You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
