Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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