i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
