so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
